Episode 11: How to Lose Weight and Keep It Off When You’re Sober

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00:30 = photo of Kaila skinny coke days in 20s

24:35 - Before After Photo Kiki

33:50 - Quit smoking Book

SHOW NOTES

Kaila: Hey what's up guys, it's Kaila and Kiki and you are listening to From Hell Wellness, and today we are talking about how to stay fit now that you are sober. Because depending on what your poison was you could be kept skinny by cocaine.

Kiki: I am jealous; it didn't really work out for me.

Kaila: It made no sense like beyond, oh my God. When I look back on photos - I am going to post one in this show notes of me in my 20s, I was so skinny. So like almost like every time I would see my aunt she would say are you okay, and I would be like yes because that's the reaction I wanted, that's like the level of skinny that I wanted to be like sickly skinny. But I literally can never get there again. The only time I ever got there recently was after a break-up where I was just not eating for like weeks and weeks, but of course that didn't sustain.

Kiki: Sometimes those break-ups for good. I feel like for me I need a kick in the ass to start getting super motivated, or like firmly he or she must not be named a motivator.

Kaila: So you know we get along with most people. I mean this wasn't me before getting sober, but these now that I am sober I get along with most people. But there is one person from our past - I am not going to say their named but they are a former band member, of which there were a lot of former band member so you have no idea who this is. But we just felt like she was kind of a user, whereas a lot of the other band members were contributors and you know we were sisters. And so I don't know why I'm diving into this, but she is a motivator because then we are like oh we have got to do better.

Kiki: I think it's really healthy to have a type of motivator to get you to do things out of your comfort zone especially too, and I know a lot of people talk about comfort zones, but that's where magic happens, that's where you are going to be able to feel like you need to change. And I think that was like probably one of the biggest things for me when I was getting sober. I know that I have said this before but I have never wanted to actually get sober. I never thought I was going to get sober.

Kaila: I don't think anybody wants to get sober. I think you hit such a bottom that you are forced to get sober because life gets so bad.

Kiki: Right, but for me even as bad as it was I still thought that I would still be drinking, I thought that you know in my mind I thought that maybe drinking was going to be in moderation, which is it's a crazy thought.

Kaila: Some people can do it.

Kiki: Yes, some people can and I thought you know maybe I was that person, or I try to kept justifying it for myself. And like my intention wasn't really to get fully sober, but I definitely knew I had a problem I just didn't want to admit it. But what happened next after that was I ended up joining a gym and it wasn't just like your typical gym, we just started wanting to have something new in our lives that could challenges.

Kaila: Why did you decide to do Muay Thai?

Kiki: Well Muay Thai is like, the reason why I took a bunch of martial arts when I was younger, and Muay Thai is like - it's more a badass than like just boxing, like boxing is pretty fucking badass, but then you start throwing in like elbows and then you start throwing in like kicks. I don't know I just thought it would be more badass.

Kaila: Are you wearing a face thing, or are people punching you in the face?

Kiki: Yes, there are occupational hazards, but yes we don't wear a face mask.

Kaila: So you have gotten punched in the face?

Kiki: Many times, every day you get punched in the face pretty much.

Kaila: But I never see you with bruising.

Kiki: I had a lot, that part about Muay Thai is that they are, like the higher level that you get the more control they have. I get a lot of bruising on my legs and arms but not so much in my face, which is good because this is the money-maker. But honestly like joining Muay Thai I didn't think I was going to be sober, I thought I could drink and do this exercise, because I was running 3 miles a day while I was getting fucked-up.



Not every day but on my sober days I would try to run to like counterbalance my drunken, which was BS. But I joined the gym and it just flipped my world upside down. And I feel like having something where you have to be there on a schedule regiment, and something that you just really, really want to like basically you succeed at, and you can see the gratification happening as you develop skills. That really, really helps a lot for me.

Kaila: It's really strange to me I have never really enjoy exercise of any kind. It's always like something to endure to get your results or whatever. But you seem to actually enjoy this?

Kiki: I do, and it is just kind of like a fuck-up mentality, I don't know what it is but I like the physical abuse, that's awful and that is not meant to be, terrible.

Kaila: Did you do this with your boyfriend?

Kiki: Yes, we beat the crap out of each other. But I think it's also healthy too because there is a lot of like less - sometimes I would come home and I am like bruised up, and I am like oh God if we go to the restaurant someone is going to think that you are beating me, but you’ve kind of technically are.

Kaila: Like have this happened, like have you gone to your mom and your mom is like what happened to your arm, and you are like oh it's just Muay Thai.

Kiki: Well my mom was far away so she would probably be really concerned. Nobody has actually said anything, and it's funny because I used to get more bruises when I was drunk.

Kaila: I remember some of those.

Kiki: Do you remember; I would come home with like galaxies on my legs.

Kaila: What were you doing falling?

Kiki: I don't know, I must have been falling really hard, and like your blood vessels they actually open up while you are drinking. So that's why people get hot they get flushed in the face. So you are more likely to bruise up, and I bruise so easily oh my God it's disgusting, but I was definitely looking like not - like things weren't going well at home.

Kaila: How many times a week do you go?

Kiki: When I first started - I think this is the problem with addicts or people who are involved with substance abuse and stuff like that. My thought is that people have intense personality. So they get intensely involved in things. I think you and I are pretty intense, like we can get to work and sit there for a long time and get things done and we really get involved in what we like and what we want to accomplish.



And that happens with a lot of people who are alcoholics or addicts. They get intense and they really like things that they enjoy. And that's what happened with Muay Thai so I ended up going for like 8 hours or 9 hours a week. So I was training like 4 or sometimes 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. It was fucking the crazy - but I loved it and it became so much of an adrenaline rush that I actually didn't really care about alcohol. I wanted to go work out and make sure that I was ready and available to not get hit in the face. Versus going and getting hungover and being out for 3 days.

Kaila: That's crazy I have never gotten addicted to alcohol - I mean to that either, but to working out of any kind. Quite honestly I haven't workout for most of my life, I did coke for a good portion that really helped. Also I will say one thing, like when I was singing. When I was a solar singer, I had a singing teacher who told me I had to go and do ex-amount of cardio per day to get my bread up. So I did that for a while and then I guess that helps. But mostly I don't exercise, and then I started exercising this past year and the only exercise I really been able to tolerate is Pilates, because basically and I don't really understand maybe I am just doing it wrong because people are like it's hard and I am like what.

Kiki: But you are strong though, I feel like you are like a natural athlete.

Kaila: Well I am going to tell you; I am unusually strong in some ways. I am really good at climbing which is not helpful in life whatsoever, but like I can totally climb a tree, and I can hop over fences pretty easily.

Kiki: Wait, why are you hopping over fences?

Kaila: Well you know there has been a couple of times I've locked up in my house and it's up on the patio. So have to get up the fence and then you get up that wall and then you have to pull yourself up to the patio, so I have done that before - luckily, yes I am all paranoid now because I am into True Crime so it's all like, it has the stoppers in it so there is no way I can climb up there anymore because it's stopped.



But back when I was a little more free and trusting of the world it was left open. But Pilates is just laying on your back the whole time and you hardly even sweat, you know sometimes you sweat a little bit but it's like a lightness thing, it's not like a pouring of sweat. And then lately because I have got to be honest I love Pilates but I wasn't sure it was doing anything to keep my weight in check, it seems like I was still gaining weight.



And not like the oh you are gaining muscles or whatever, it seems like I was gaining weight. So this new company called Plate Fit open by my house and I was like what is that, and basically the concept of it and who knows if any of this is true or not. But it's like a big vibrating machine, it kind of looks like a treadmill without a bike on it or whatever but it's a big plate, and it's vibrating really hard. And then you stand on top of it and you do hard-core cardio or 30 minutes. I hate cardio but I can do it for 30 minutes and not one second more, it's actually 27 minutes. And then that is supposed to be equivalent to 45 minutes to an hour of exercise, because the vibrating activates all of your muscles or something.

Kiki: So let me get this straight. How does it vibrate?

Kaila: It's more like the second one, shaking you all over the place. But that shaking thing would help because it takes like a core muscle to balance, and that could be another invention when you work out.

Kiki: They should have like the intense but kind of like what was that?

Kaila: Like the earthquake workout - we are going to start a class with the earthquake workout.

Kiki: In LA it would be really popular.

Kaila: Yes, anything works here.

Kiki: Did you find that you are able to like go and feel more motivated to go once you found something that you like?

Kaila: Yes, definitely and well what really helps is that both of those places are in walking distance. So I can just have rolled out of bed and go but if they were any further it would be a challenge. And I have to admit that I was going to Plate Fit pretty religiously for a month. I have one of those founding memberships because I was one of the first people to join - they opened up new in my neighbourhood, but it has been so cold in LA right now, and I like the workout in the mornings I don't like to mess up the middle of my day and arrange my schedule Etc. But I like to get it done first thing in the morning, and I can't motivate myself to get out the door when it's freezing like that.

Kiki: I think a lot of people face that, especially since we are in the top of the year. A lot of people set fitness goals and they stick to it for a good amount of time, but then it's hard to continue when life gets tough and you've got the schedule going and things you know pick up and stuff like that. And then motivators are really important to have and especially when the things like the tough gets going. What are things I guess in your life that keeps you in truck when you try to stay motivated?

Kaila: Well it's a specific, I mean for weight specifically, like right now it's really hard, I am wearing big sweaters and stuff like if I have an extra 10 pounds who is even going to know. I am not like wearing tight anything, like I have these loose or these boyfriend jeans.

Kiki: I love boyfriend Jean they are a godsend.

Kaila: Yes, they hide everything and you can wear like a little top with it and then it pulls up high on your waist so you definitely don't have to be skinny. But what motivates me and I've got to give you a horrible hack that I do, which I probably don't recommend to anyone but it works. So if I had like some, if I got booked for a media trip to some tropical location in 2 weeks, then I would be like oh shit not very much time to lose weight like responsibly. I would just do the master cleanse and that shit works.

Kiki: Oh my gosh, I remember we used to do that in the band, and I would get through like 2 or 3 days.

Kaila: Those were the hardest, once you get through to do 4 it's almost like just easy. The only thing that's tough is it's boring, because for me so much of my time is like what am I going to eat next, like that's what I look forward to. So when there is not that it's not even that I am hungry at day 4 or 5, it's just like what do I do with this extra food time.

Kiki: That's true because I spend a shitload of time thinking about what am I going to prepare, and what I need to get at the grocery store. I think especially when you get sober like food is there some like pleasure that comes from prepping food and cooking it. You become more involved with food and even your taste buds get better and stuff like that.

Kaila: Yes, I started Airbnb in a room in my house so this changed everything, but before I started doing that I would go to the grocery store every single day - or the Farmers Market if it was like Monday or something. And I just go and look at the most beautiful vegetable and I would be a like well I will take that. I don't normally like cherry tomatoes but you know these look especially pretty.



So I would buy my groceries for that day and then I would come home and I would go online and search like cherry tomatoes recipes. And I made, I don't know this pasta that I made with the cherry tomatoes it was restaurant quality it was so good. It was literally so easy, you just like slow cook the cherry tomatoes until they are blister and kind of explode into a sauce, and you do this like 20 minutes slow.



I also had this parmesan cheese from Italy so that helps. It was aged like 30 months or something. So I made the slow roasted cherry tomato pasta with a really high-quality olive oil salt and pepper and that was all. That was all the ingredients and then topped with a generous amount of that Parmesan cheese from Parma.

Kiki: I love how simplistic the ingredients can be.

Kaila: When the ingredients are high-quality you don't need a million ingredients. You just literally need salt pepper and thyme.

Kiki: I think like going to Croatia and Italy really open that whole perspective of cooking, because the ingredients were good - like the truffles dude.

Kaila: Oh my God, Croatia has I think abundant of truffles where truffles aren't expensive like the truffle dishes. You know like a truffle dish here is like 50 bucks.

Kiki: Like you add one shave and you have to add like 20 bucks to the dish, I am like this is freaking crazy and in Croatia they are like.

Kaila: Oh my god, did Marco take you guys to his favourite Steakhouse? So Marco is the head of the tourism board of Istria Croatia, beautiful amazing region and we love him, but he just knows all of the best places going to Istria. And he took us to a steakhouse you know like a homie kind of local.

Kiki: Was it at [17:25]?

Kaila: Yes, I think it was an out. There was like an oven that was out in the room and they would - or grill and they would grill the steaks, the stakes were big and they would just cover it in truffle, like just covered in truffle.

Kiki: I don't think we went there but it sounds amazing oh my gosh. But I think dieting too is really important. We will probably have a whole other podcast on the food aspect because food and fitness are hand in hand. A lot of the times people go for their fitness goals, but they don't necessarily focus on the food part and that's why sometimes results are difficult to achieve. I tried keto and it fucking amazing.

Kaila: How long have you been doing it now, it's pretty new?

Kiki: I did it last year and that's when I got really shredded, and then I started doing it a little bit not like really seriously but just like - I'd usually get like probably 80% keto, and within a week I shredded down like 2 pounds, it was freaking nuts and I just keep getting - because girl I have been making a lot of cookies.

Kaila: Are you still making cookies, I thought that was just a holiday thing.

Kiki: It was a holiday thing, and then I got a stand mixer.

Kaila: I have one, I have the KitchenAid, I asked for one Christmas but it's the fancy one.

Kiki: Mine is black and it moves up and down, and I think it's pretty straightforward but I love it. I've always dreamed of having a stand mixer but I finally got one. Setting the bar High. But yes cookies are pretty much the death of me. But I have got to say food has always kind of been a big thing for me, and I think like with dieting and stuff it's been really difficult. Especially with being drunk, and not only was I just drinking. I had a big problem with diet pills I kind of mentioned it. To be really honest I never really talked about it publicly or to anybody at all so this will be a fun experience. I kind of mentioned it here and there but I used to take a shitload of diet pills.

Kaila: And these were over the counter right?

Kiki: Over the counter, but I also got some other gnarly-gnarly prescription diet pill, that basically these pills are prescribed for patients who are morbidly obese - it sounds really ridiculous.

Kaila: So was this ethical for them to even give it to you?

Kiki: Well no I didn't get them legally I got them from a source, but basically what happens is they give these pills to patients who are morbidly obese and they get them on a 3 months’ program, but right before they do a gastric bypass surgery. So it's gnarly stuff and basically it's [20:33] to the max, and I started taking that at a pretty young age because you know when we were playing in the band I was still in college when I was taking them.



And we would have rehearsal like maybe 10 hours a week, I was working like 22 hours a week at the medical office and I was taking [20:52] for my pre-meds so I was sleeping for 3 hours a night every night, and those little pill guys got me through it, but there were days where I wouldn't eat for like 4 or 5 days.

Kaila: So they would keep you awake too; they were basically like speed?

Kiki: It's 100% like Speed. It's basically like Adderall but 10 times stronger.

Kaila: You could have just been taking Adderall really though, because Adderall makes you lose your appetite also right.

Kiki: But these ones were like 10 times stronger. I didn't even know about Adderall at the time, like I kind of heard about it in college but I just didn't know I had access to these and thought that they were okay for whatever, you know like I am a crazy person - and like I think every girl goes through that sort of like shape issues and stuff like that. But I haven't been pretty bad and I actually went to a counsellor because I suffered from an ED for a long time.

Kaila: From what?

Kiki: Eating Disorder.

Kaila: I didn't know that.

Kiki: Yes, I was bulimic and anorexic and I got really skinny.

Kaila: I didn't know that, when in high school?

Kiki: This was right before I knew you guys. I still kind of like work with it and I still have this counsellor, I didn't like it because it was - I should have probably went to like an actual like a good one but I went to like the free one in school, and I didn't really tell my parents and like my boyfriend at the time was like if you don't go and see a counsellor I am going to break up with you basically, which I was like what the fuck is this so I was like fine I will go and see this counsellor. And I remember going into the meeting and I looked at the girl and I thought why would I take advice from this girl who is skinnier than me, but it was a weird psychology and then I looked back and I said.

Kaila: Wait wouldn't you want to take advice?

Kiki: No because she would never understand why I had this problem because I thought that she was judging me. Like it was weird, my brain was thinking she probably doesn't think I am serious because she is skinnier than me. But the reality was I was like 103 pounds. I am 130 and I am like 5 7 so I was really small. And I was wearing a double zero it was gross, and I remember I would have weighed myself for like 6 or 7 times a day, and when I could see the muscles. Anyway I don't want to get into that too much but I was obsessed like completely obsessed. And there were days where I wouldn't eat for like 4 days straight.

Kaila: But it's crazy because you love food, like some people don't love food like generally they just don't.

Kiki: I wish I didn't love it - at the time though I didn't love it as much as I do now I think and like which was helpful like it was a lot helpful, but I think drinking really like fuck that it just made it everything I didn't want it to be, and the biggest point I am telling you we talking about this but do you remember when we went to Tijuana and it was the last day that I drink. [24:04] we shot around there. I saw the photos and that was the heaviest that I have ever been.

Kaila: That was the last day you drink?

Kiki: That was the last day I drink, the night before when me you and Kath.

Kaila: I didn't remember you mention anything.

Kiki: Yes, we went to the bowling alley.

Kaila: Did you guys decide to quit like consciously?

Kiki: Well we decided to quit in January which we did and then I kind of screwed up that night, but that was only maybe like 3 weeks after I decided to quit, and then I was sober for 3 weeks and then drink that last time, but I remember getting those photos back and we will put it in the show notes. That before I was like am I really that big, I was probably 148 pounds. It was bad do you remember it's so funny. So I have been like 103 to 148 pounds.

Kaila: So was that from drinking?

Kiki: It was from drinking and not caring for my body. I was still exercising but I was just drinking like so much, and if you think about it one beer is 200 calories.

Kaila: I will never get sick of saying this - I don't understand the liquid.

Kiki: You know it's funny that you say that because I literally had no idea where that liquid went, like how do you put it into your body where does it go?

Kaila: It's just like uncomfortable physically even in buying that much liquid, whatever it is but if it's like something delicious that you love.

Kiki: Yes, and even if it was like the best hot chocolate ever, like I don't even know how one could fit all of that even if your taste but is - I don't know it's crazy.

Kaila: Well that's interesting. So do you ever have any repercussions of that. So you had bulimia too?

Kiki: Yes, to be really honest yes I do, there are days where it's bad.

Kaila: You know I try to be bulimic once it's like how do you get yourself to throw up it's difficult, either people have an easier time. I hate throwing up I hate it with a deep hate, except when I am on E. But I just like I couldn't physically do it.

Kiki: I am not even sure; this is getting really personal. I remember when I first, first started getting habitual like getting the ideas of it in high school. I watch this, this is so bad. I watch this dance movie but I forgot what it's called. They show it in the class one day when the teacher was too lazy to do anything. And she shows this dance movie about this girl and dance and how she becomes bulimic and gets really skinny. I was like well this is great and I remember it was really hard to make yourself throw up in the beginning, like for some reason you just can't really do it.

Kaila: Yes, that was my experience.

Kiki: Yes, and then I think with alcohol, like eventually you will figure out - once you learn it then you are able to kind of do it - but I was bad I lost my period for like an entire 6 months.

Kaila: That's great thought, I feel like period should not exist.

Kiki: Well you can take birth control and kind of make them go away.

Kaila: Yes, I do that but I stop taking birth control pills at the moment because I am not having sex. But I did take birth control pills, it's not really good for you to do that but I did that because I was against period and I still am.

Kiki: Well what about the shot because the shot will give you no period?

Kaila: I have heard stories about side effects, I mean they are probably so rare but I've just heard horror stories about that.

Kiki: I took it once it doesn't give you period for 3 months. Well here is the thing, I don't know if it was the shot or if it was because of the drinking but I did gain a lot of weight.

Kaila: You know what I do miss is smoking. I know people think it's like gross but I never thought it was gross. I just don't think the smell of smoke is that gross, but like I don't think it's that gross when a guy smokes. I mean so many Asian guy's smoke. Maybe not nowadays but like pretty much, except for my last ex, every single guy I date in my life smoked so it's just normal, but I used to smoke.



I remember when I first got to college and everybody was smoking and I was like I want to smoke too. And so they are like okay we are going to take you to get these girly cigarettes. So we got these Benson and hedges in this gold box and they are like really glamorous. And then you know I smoke those for a while and then got kind of like - but they are like air. Graduated and I never really did light but I went up to Red's, and what I really liked was menthols, and then I graduated to Newport. But the other thing I liked was Parliament because Parliament if you turn them around they have that little hole where you can put cocaine in it. Parliament why do they have that hole, what is the purpose of it?

Kiki: Like on the end of the filter right?

Kaila: Yes, there is literally a hole.

Kiki: I remember you mentioned it and I was like where is the hole that she's talking about.

Kaila: What is that for, is there like a reason for that decides to put coke in it?

Kiki: I don't even know, I never actually really smoke Parliament but that is hilarious.

Kaila: One thing I also like to do was to make it more minty. Somebody taught me this, is that a lot of gas stations they have these little squeeze mints that you can use for breath mints, but they are like you squeeze a little thing of mint water or whatever - and you could squeeze it on the back of your cigarette and it makes it super-duper minty.

Kiki: Did you ever do camel crushes?

Kaila: That was past my time, when it came out I was like no I was already done with smoking, but yes I am still excited to try one of those.

Kiki: I smoked those all of the time. In Japan, Japan was gnarly.

Kaila: I have never seen you really smoke. Did Jamie smoke?

Kiki: Oh my God yes all of the time.

Kaila: Okay I know Kath smoked but she stopped.

Kiki: Really, I have never seen Kath.

Kaila: Jamie smoke, but I'm kind of remembering you now.

Kiki: That's so funny and in Japan it was like so difficult to smoke because you can't smoke in public, so they have these little boxes everywhere.

Kaila: I remember this, I remember the airport there was like some really for box that you had to go to smoke at, I remember you guys going to that.

Kiki: And it was disgusting, it was like you basically just had to go and smoke as fast as you can because it smells like poo-poo and then just like run out.

Kaila: It's crazy because any other Asian country at that time would have been like you could smoke in the mall.

Kiki: Yes, exactly and I think they were just trying to be progressive with the air quality and stuff like that. But yes that was pretty gnarly but cigarettes are amazing because they make you skinny too.

Kaila: Yes, and I love rituals that's why I love coke I love the cutting of the coke, but I love waking up in the morning and having a cigarette, you know going outside and going to the balcony I love a cigarette after a delicious meal, I love fucking smoking in the car it's just so much, oh my God I would do this so much. I had this Celica and I had that window on it, I had the sunroof or whatever. And I'd always like flick it out there and then it falls onto my back seat, that happened so many times I am so stupid.

Kiki: How did you stop smoking because the way that I stopped I used an e-cigarette. And I don't know if that's when you did the same time, but I had an e-cigarette but my favourite place to smoke was in the car - like holding it out and you are just like driving

Kaila: It's kind of like gross, like people give you dirty looks today. I don't know I haven't smoked forever but now it's like not cool to smoke. But yes just relaxing with a cigarette in the car, or after a meal I really love that after the meal cigarette.

Kiki: But did you say you had a book I remember.

Kaila: I read a book and I quit. I have quit several times. I don't know how long I have quit now probably 10 years, but I quit once for like 5 years, and I called a guy a hypnotist and I don't even remember what he said and I fell asleep and then I stopped smoking, but it was only like 5 years later I had a really bad breakup and I said fuck this I am going to smoke, but literally I called that guy and then I got off the phone and I didn't smoke. The same with that book which I will add to this show notes. I think it's just called how to quit smoking. Very famous very popular book, literally you could smoke while you read the book, and after you are done you are just like I don't want to smoke anymore.

Kiki: We should definitely share that that's amazing. Oh my God hypnotherapy okay, so I like science and I like hard facts I am just going to be honest here, but hypnotherapy is a very interesting space because my dad actually does hypnotherapy. It's so weird but he is quite good at it, and he was able to even get my aunt to freeze her body so someone could walk over it, like she was like stuck and Frozen and stuff.

Kaila: That's scary [34:34] like do that to your enemy.

Kiki: I mean that's fascinating to hear that story of first hand like the truth. I think it's amazing that you were able to stop cold. Was there anything that stood out to you from the book that really was like okay it's time?

Kaila: It was just that I could smoke while I was reading the book, that's the stand out part. It was like you could smoke as much as you want while you read this book, but when you are done you're just not going to want to smoke anymore. I literally don't remember anything in that book. But I remember my ex mentioned maybe he should want to quit, and I got the book out and put it around but he was too scared to read it because he actually didn't really want to stop yet. I mean it's a stress reliever instantly, it's not actually a real stress reliever it actually causes you more stress long-term, but in that moment you feel less stress.

Kiki: Yes, for sure and cigarettes are actually not that hard for me to quit for some reason. I don't know if I was like super-super. I mean I would smoke maybe like three or four.

Kaila: I smoke like a pack a day.

Kiki: That's a lot, I only did like three or four a day so I wasn't like full blast into it, but the alcohol was fucking gnarly. I still can't believe I am sober, like who am I what's going on?

Kaila: It's much better though?

Kiki: It is so much better, and like I think the changes that happen especially physically. After I started like working out and really focusing on Fitness. I think that gratification was something that is so much better. You almost get like a natural high when you are sober and working out. Have you ever felt that before?

Kaila: No, but I feel like being sober I just feel naturally High all of the time, but I have never gotten that endorphin high that is not real to me.

Kiki: You've just got to find it - I have got to say the sea lions and you were swimming I guess.

Kaila: I have never, it was like I am seeing the Beatles or something, you know how girls scream at a rock concert, I am like why are you doing that, and then I start doing it for the seals and it was like uncontrollable.

Kiki: We were so bad that we had gotten that on tape because it was so fucking funny oh my God, that was real that was a real moment guys. Life is about collecting real moments and that was definitely one of them.

Kaila: Well we would love to hear from you about your workout routines, or if you have any questions about Fitness or how to maintain your body weight after sobriety. And actually just like you know I have done intermittent Fitness, or eating or fasting or whatever that is. But there is a new trend just called Mindful Eating or something like that, and it's just that you eat when you want to. So you would be mindful so you are like okay this is delicious, you are really paying attention to your bites and you are not like - you are like really paying attention and you are like okay I think I am full I will stop. And then if you want a cake eat it and then you don't have to finish the whole cake, maybe you only really want three bites.

Kiki: That's a big thing, I think that's such an important thing to remember - I guess this is hard with addictive personality, but when you have something you just take tiny little pieces of it, like the cookies I have been taking off just the tiny corners.

Kaila: You maybe don't have those cookies in your house right now.

Kiki: The problem right now though is that I have to bake them for Martin. So it's difficult because I don't want to prevent him from having it, but you just take small bites, and you know like with sweets a lot of people will eat, like you said will eat the whole thing - but if you get a couple of bites and walk away, you get the same satisfaction without having to like fill your stomach with it.

Kaila: I like sweets but I don't like huge amounts of sweets, unless it's crumbly. I like ice cream I am definitely a killer for that.

Kiki: There is a couple of apps that I wanted to talk about. So if you guys are looking to basically, you know whether you are sober or not sober yet or you just really want to start up in the fitness. One of the apps that really work for me was this app called the Fit Girl Guide, and they have an Instagram and its fit girls guide, or @fitgirlsguide. Basically it cost a little bit of money but it was like a PDF of what you can eat every day. So it gives you an easy meal plan and it gives you exercise regimen.

Kaila: But it's really popular right now to do your week of meals - like what is it called is that a meal prepping?

Kiki: Yes, meal prepping like lunch box making. That is so freaking easy, and it's hard for people who really love food, but I am telling you that shredded me down and I lost probably about like 9 pounds in the first round, this is in 2013 when I did it. Fit Girls Guide is a great way for beginners to get into the fitness world that don't want to have a gym membership.



All of the workouts can be done at home and it gives you meal prep for the week so you go to the grocery store once a week and buy stuff. Really, really amazing you can go on to their Instagram and see all of their before and after results of success stories. Another great app that I found was called Sweat by Kayla [40:41]. Okay this girl first of all she's shredded.

Kaila: She's so skinny.

Kiki: Have you seen her?

Kaila: She's tiny.

Kiki: And she's got a baby too. She's naturally really-really really skinny but like it helps like I am not, but like at the same time I loved, I subscribed to her app for like 2 years, I didn't use it for about like a year-and-a-half though. But it's amazing and it's worth it, there are some really incredible success stories on there as well.



And there is also, like she's gotten so big that she has developed several different workout levels. So if you finish the beginner one you go to the next one and you'll go to the next one. Even for people who are more into fitness, they have options for you to get more toned and shredded or whatever it is. And again you don't need a gym for them, they have a none-gym option and they have a gym option.



And I also go to Gold's Gym on top of my hotel. Okay I am a little bit Fitness obsessed, again not crazy intense just obsess. So I go workout at the Muay Thai gym like 3 days a week and then I go to a regular gym another 3 days a week. And basically I ran and then there is a couple of like you know exercises that you can do on the abs or abs exercises. I don't really use a lot of machines it's all just done like plyometric style. But I like running, running is just something.

Kaila: I hate running; did you know that running kind of shrinks your butt.

Kiki: Yes, but I am trying to like fit into some of my pants. The places that I gain weight are like - but it does shrink your butt though.

Kaila: I know that and I am like what the fuck.

Kiki: Yes, it's been a great journey.

Kaila: So yes, we would love to hear from you. Email us and tell us what you want to hear in the upcoming episodes. Tell us what you think of this one, and make sure to subscribe and leave a comment if you like what you heard and we will see you next week, bye.

AUDIO FINISH 42:54

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